Tuesday, September 3, 2013

She Can Google

This realization was how my week ended last week.  For those of you that have been reading since the beginning you know my mother came down with thyroid cancer over a year ago.  The doctor's blamed it on the fact that she had survived West Nile Virus and in the buffet of cancers this is the one you want.  The problem is this is my mother's 3rd round of new and exciting cancers and this one has needed a LOT of radiation and waiting.  The waiting and treatment mean that she can't be with Mini K and Baby C like they are used to...

I had a choice, to tell her the truth a year ago to to avoid it.  We told her Nana had cancer, it was a sickness and she was going to need strong medicine and we needed to pray for her a lot.  This worked until last week, when Mini K snuck onto my computer and googled cancer.  The tears came, and the talk of dying and I of course kicked myself for not thinking she would do this and adding it to the list of names on parental control.  Mr. G and I locked her from every bad word we could think of, certain websites all together, certain phrases, anything with an age limit, but we never thought about the word cancer.

So Mr. G took matters into his own hands and promptly booked us a long weekend at the Homestead in hopes of distracting her.  In hindsight it might be one of the weekends I look back on forever.  We checked in and the kids promptly demanded the pool and lazy river.  So off we went.   As soon as we walked into the pool Mini K sees her friend M from tennis and thinks her daddy arranged that too!

So we spent 4 days doing everything as a family unit.  I mean meals, chess, exploring, swimming, hanging out, tye dying t-shirts, watching fireworks.  I will remember this weekend when she tells me to walk behind her or drop her off a block away.  I prayed all of the time together would make her stop thinking scary thoughts of things we cannot control like cancer.  Thoughts 7 year olds should not have to process.

We came home yesterday and as I dropped her off at school today she told me she was still sad, but she was going to think of all of the things that made her laugh when she is with her Nana.  When I picked her up the first thing she wanted to do was call her Nana.  She went to practice and then we took Baby C to the playground and thankfully I tucked 2 healthy children into bed tonight and promptly called my momma!  This too shall pass and I pray daily she beats this like she has done before, but tonight I rest in the knowledge that she knows not only how much I love her but how much my children love her and as I watched two little kiddos fight sleep I have the peace of knowing they know how much I love them.

I keep flipping to these photos of the littles from this weekend and cannot help but smile.  If you know them, then you know how much this is them...EXACTLY.

So many people have loved ones far away, going through things far worse, and I hope and pray for safe returns and happy endings, but what you control is if the people in your own life know how you feel about them so TELL THEM, because I realized last week with a click of the mouse that you can never tell people enough!

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